Clara and Johannes study-part 1

 Inspired by the platonic love affair between Clara Schumann and Johannes Brahms.

By the end of her life, Clara had burned most of the letters between her and fellow composer Johannes Brahms. While the letter remaining reveal him as the more ardently infatuated of the two, what did her burned letter reveal of her mutual affection of the younger Brahms? Clara was married to Brahms mentor and composer Robert Schumann.  Schumann was admitted into an asylum and lived out the remainder of his life while Clara played concerts to support the family. 

“I cannot say what a pleasure I find it to enjoy all this with Johannes. He draws in great breaths of nature, and one grows young with him. It is true that I am often sad and that distresses him, but it is only natural that the more inspiring our surroundings, the heavier my heart should grow at the thought that my beloved husband is alone and forsaken whilst I am free to enjoy the glories of nature and the society of the best of friends…”

Clara Schumann’s diary, July 1855

Johannes, 

Have you thought about the sin of want, dear one?  They way we are lost in the obsession having of something we so desire? Dare if we could consume the beloved, we are carnal cannibals filled with evil lust. And the bohemians would challenge us!  "Eat plenty of the thing over which you hunger".

Never!

We know better, love.  

To allow.  

We know the power of a whisper, a breath against neck, a look from across a crowded room, one word from letter long awaited to bring respite of the drink of love.  Because love is not for consuming the other. 

But to refresh him.

To give to her.

I find you in my day when a skylark flies high and sings his long sweet song over me the way you do when you are here. And I know you find me in the notes of your piano, perfectly tuned. I know because the octave of song you play bears the timber of my voice! Oh love, you seek me, the way I seek you!

I awoke and felt my skin was filled with you in a most precise way that I am sure only heaven has a name for!  Still I blush at thought of it, and I pray to arise to it every morning since.  I swore you were sitting in the chair beside my bed, watching over me....waiting for me to wake.

I attended the duties of my day the way I ought, but because of you inside me, my spirit was light.  Even in duty...all because of your you. Beloved you.  Even from hundreds of miles it fills me.  The beauty of who you are fills me. 

When you write me with questions, I pray that it is not so much the answers you seek, but the attention of the woman who gives them as I myself present all that I am in my letters of response not as mere teaching as mentor, but as gift you would be filled. That you would take all of what you seek from me, even from my skin, my mind, my soul!

Love, take it and be whole!

What marvel we have found. and I bless the sacred distance, which is our master and teacher of affections greatest gift.  

Indeed how lucky we are.

Yours entirely,

Clara

In this expression of writing I hope to explore Clara's wisdom of love in finite expression vs. love as infinite in it's expression. Similar to that found between St. Francis and St. Claire...

Surrendering into loves expansive nature welcoming its energy into the mundane creating an ethereal experience. In a world filled with love aspiring to consume (consummate into the other) I believe Clara saw love from a higher plane in her later years and her experience with Johannes guided that.