Jackie-Chapter 2 A

"I brought you a gift, my dear!"  Jackie smiled on cue as the Judge entered the room.  He handed her the new Couliers Weekly, picked her up and brought her to the bed.  

He knew how she loved magazines, chocolates and things that sparkled. None of the girls minded a visit from the Judge. He was chubby and easy to laugh.  He smelled of aftershave and powders and loved to make the girls giggle. He visited weekly and the Madame counted him as her best customer.

   The Judges wife had been sick for years and after finally resigning himself over to relieving his visceral needs weekly at the brothel, he expressed to the Madame in confidence a kind of gratitude for the company her girls provided him. He of course would have preferred to be a monogamous man but things the way they were didn't allow for monogamy.  After having been without the comforts of a woman for years the renewal he experienced from the company of the girls had brought him back into a certain vigor.

He loved Jackie best and couldn't figure out why.  She had eyes that looked up at him in a certain way which made him stir, like she was relying on him for something. 

The Judge always asked her if she was alright, if she enjoyed this or that, which she, of course, always answered yes. She knew that when a man asked if something felt good she was supposed to coo more or arch her back.   The inquiry wasn't for her concern so much as a prompt  for her to show that she was pleased.  Men liked to see what pleasure looked like on a woman because it heightened their own sensations. 

So Jackie always said that things felt wonderful even though, in reality every touch felt the same as any other; like pressure on skin. And that was Jackie's secret.  Every touch felt the same. Whore that she was, she had never felt the sensation that the men paid to feel in her own body.

 The sounds she made were for show.  The and movements and yelps she released were a copy of what she had seen the other girls do, things she had heard in the halls. 

This bothered Sadie to no end and when the Judge left that day she asked as she always did, "You have a turn today Jackie?"  Jackie rolled her eyes and giggled. She secretly hated when Sadie asked about it. 

It was strange to admit, but Jackie preferred pretending.  She didn't want to feel whatever the other girls were feeling underneath all the men.  Jackie preferred the play acting she did.  Afterall, some men like the judge were kind and good and careful.  But others were rough and careless. While some liked to watch what pleasure looked like on a woman, others wanted to see pain and fear.  This was a difficult kind of man to face.  If you let such a man see that he was paining you, he would ask for you the next time he came. Jackie had made this mistake before. Over time, Jackie learned it was better to give a difficult man the opposite reaction he wanted.  If he wanted to see you helpless, show him strength.  If  fear excited him. laugh and making nothing of what shocking thing he tried.  If he wanted a fight,  go limp and stare off into the distance and imagine yourself on some dusty road, married to a banker.